Thursday, October 16, 2008

I miss Owen. So many things about him.  I am also sad thinking about the life he will not be able to have now-things he won't be able to do...
  Thank you to everyone who was able to come see us at the visiting hours and at the memorial service and share your condolences with us.  It was good to see everyone, although obviously I wish we could have all seen each other during happier circumstances. 
  A few stories from those two days: First, it was incredibly awesome that the entire jv and varsity football teams and coaching staff showed up in uniform as a team. Seeing that in itself was emotional, then one of the players gave me a jersey and tiger armband with Owen's initials on it-all of the players were wearing one. The team dedicated this year's season to Owen. For those who do not know, Seth plays jv football-it was really such a nice symbol of support.
   One of Owen's friends came in with his parents and gave me a big hug. While I was holding him, he asked where Owen was, and I told him that Owen was in heaven, but that when he fell asleep that Owen would be able to come and play with him. Jake asked, "Can we race?" I said, "Absolutely you guys can race." and then Jake asked, "How fast can angels run?"  It was the absolute sweetest thing, and of course I completely lost it.  It was truly one of those "out of the mouths of babes" moments.
  Releasing the balloons after the service on Monday was nice-Owen would have loved it.
 So much to's really unbelievable to think that I will not be able to hold Owen again, or see him, touch him...all of those things I was so thankful for when he was still here with us. So many regrets I have about things I should have done with him that I will now never have the chance to do. I do have many happy memories to look back upon, I just wish he was here with me to remember them with.


Kelly McCulloch said...

*hugs* (internet hugs are so incredibly lame, but I promise I'll give you a real one next time I see you)

I read your blog every day at work during my lunch hour, just to check up on you and see how you're doing. I know you haven't posted in awhile, and that's completely understandable, but it was relieving to see your post today. I know you started this blog about Owen's/yours/your family's life, but I do hope you continue to blog about the legacy he's leaving, as well as how you and the fam are doing from time-to-time. I know I'll see you for Anthony's guitar lessons, but it's nice to read your blog. Journaling is extremely cathartic and it helps to write out feelings sometimes.

The services were so, so beautiful, Jen. Everything was orchestrated so wonderfully; the family photos were awesome to see, the balloon release was very sweet, and the memorial service was tasteful and heartfelt. Owen would have been proud to see so many people congregate in his honor.

Now that you've had time to breathe after the busy-ness of this past weekend, you should think about taking some "Jen" time. I know it might seem weird to endulge in something for yourself, after everything you've gone through, but trust deserve it. Go get your nails done, get a massage, see a movie, make Matt take you out to something for YOU. I have a feeling it's been a long time since you've done something sweet for yourself. You're long overdue, girlfriend.

Give me a call if you need someone to come kidnap you and show you a good time. You've earned this. ;)

Love ya.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry we could not make the services. From what I have read you paid a wonderful tribute to your little boy. I wish I could have been there. I can't imagine how difficult it must be right now for you. I wish peace for you all. Hugs to you!

Danielle winney said...

Im so glad to see you post something. I have been checking everyday, hoping to see you write something. I cant stop thinking about Owen and your family, even though I never got to meet him, if he was anything like you and the boys, I know he was an awesome little boy. Im so sorry I didnt make it to the memorial service, I heard it was absolutely beautiful. And everytime I hear that song, I think about Owen. Your an incredible mother and Owen was so lucky to have you, dont ever have any regrets, your amazing. I am such a dork I cry everytime my son goes back to college, I cant imagine how you feel. Again, I am so glad I finally got to meet you, you and Owen have really touched my heart. I found a t-shirt on that one childhood cancer website that I am going to order for myself, and everytime I wear it I will think of Owen.
I know we dont really know eachother, but if you ever need to talk or anything please let me know. I am easy to find, just have Seth tell Shannon.
You are still and always be in my thoughts and prayers.

Love your friend,
Danielle Winney and Shannon!

nicole f. said...

mrs. pieber,
that is so nice of the football team. it must mean a tun to you! owen is always at your side and here for you anytime you need him.
sending thoughts and prayers always. hugs and kisses!
love ya,
nicole f.