Thursday, August 28, 2008

I wish I would have started this blog when Owen was diagnosed, or even from his birth. My mind is like a sieve, I can't believe the amount of things I have forgotten already about Owen's chemo and radiation, etc. Anthony asked me the other day if I remember the Owen before he was diagnosed, and I have to say that, while I remember snippets, the majority of the Owen I remember is the Owen from the last year and a half. I asked him the same, and he agreed. I suppose that is true with all 3 of my boys-I should have journaled, scrapbooked with journaling as well, for all three of them.
I read the following by Erma Bombeck. I think it captures how we tend to take our time with our children, significant others, friends and family for granted. The difference between Erma and us is that we still have the option to change the way we live our lives so that there is less regret when we look back upon it.

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER

By: Erma Bombeck

I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the "good" living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed. I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching TV - and more while watching life.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner."

There would have been more "I love yous"...more "I'm sorrys"...

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute...look at it and really see it...live it...and never give it back.

In memory of Erma Bombeck who lost her fight with cancer

I want to stop sweating the small stuff. Stop worrying about who doesn't like me, who has more, or who's doing what I am not able to do. Instead, I want to cherish the relationships we do have with those who do love us. To think about what we HAVE been blessed with, and what I am doing each day to improve myself mentally, physically, emotionally.

1 comment:

Jen Badaszewski said...

Jen, Owen and Family-
Just wanted to let you know that I have been keeping up with you guys through your site. Glad there's a place that I can still have Owen as a part of my shift, even if you're not on my assignment paper. Jen, you are absolutely right- no one is allowed to call "the end" but Owen himself. Every moment is precious to all of you, and these memories you make may be some of the strength that gets you through whatever lies ahead. Hug the brave Red Ranger for me, and keep us posted. You are always in my thoughts- Jen (WCHOB)