Tuesday, July 28, 2009
There is a message board where parents who have lost their child to a brain tumor can talk. One was sad because it had been 6 months since her son had passed away, and that it was getting much more difficult to deal with the pain. How true. Time does not always make things better. Sometimes it makes it worse...
The numbness wears off. Apathy takes over. Then the pain begins. It affects us all differently, and at different times. There is no such thing as "normal grieving". I get annoyed when watching shows that make ignorant comments like "That person was not acting like a parent who just lost his/her child." Really? You would know this because you have experienced the death of your child? Even if so, every person handles his or her grief in their own way. For instance, on the day Owen died, Matt, the boys and I went out for lunch. We needed to do that for ourselves, to normalize things, to get out of the house for a little bit and focus on something else, on each other. There were no tears at lunch. Some people would have looked at us shocked and appalled, I am sure, if they had known that we were out to eat and that Owen had just passed away.
I get so angry when people judge other people. NO ONE knows what that other person's life circumstances are, and even if they share similar experiences, everyone deals with things differently. Instead of being critical of the person for not doing things the way that you may do them, try to have some empathy and see that just because you may have expectations for how something "should be" does not mean that you are right. Also, accept that there may be more than one "right" way to do things, and your "right" way, may not be right for someone else.
Let's give a little more love, and alot less judgement, hatred, criticism, and anger.