Thursday, December 4, 2008
Yesterday was my one month anniversary for starting back to work. I thoroughly enjoy my job, and I must say that it has helped me to be back with the students.
There have been several invitations for memorial type services, which I have thus far declined to go to. It's not that I want to pretend that everything is ok, it's just too raw, too difficult for me to consider going to right now. I may go to one, but I will have to see how I am feeling. Anthony is at one at Children's Hospital tonight with his father (it is his night with him). I got the invite yesterday, which was too soon for me to mentally prepare myself.
I am a minimalist this holiday as far as decorations go. Typically, I really love to decorate the house, my classroom, etc. All I am doing this year is putting up the tree at home. The kids don't seem to mind. I think we are all kind of just doing what we can.
There is an ornament that I put on the tree that I bought for our Christmas in July with Owen. It plugs into the light strand. It didn't fit into the lights that were on the tree Frank brought up, so Owen never did get to see it work at home. It makes me incredibly sad to think that Owen did not have the chance to see it work on our tree.
Only 21 more days until Christmas. The magic seems to be gone this year. I am trying, I really am, but it is quite difficult sometimes...
I do still see beauty in the world, and this whole situation has taught me to give less time and thought to things which now seem so insignificant. Again, not "sweating the small stuff"...