Saturday, December 20, 2008

I can't honestly say that I am looking forward to Christmas this year.  There is no excitement for me-I imagine it will be like any other day, except that I will get to see some members of my family that I do not normally get to see, and we will open presents.
  We are having our (5X10 sq ft) bathroom updated, and I was in there the other night looking at the bare walls and started crying, being hit with the fact that nothing that I do will ever fix what is really wrong. No matter how I try to pretty things up, it's just nothing more than a cover.
  I hate what cancer did to my son, what it has done to our family.  I hate that it affects children...that it affects anyone.
  Nobody should have to spend Christmas without their child...

2 comments:

danielle winney said...

Im so sorry you feel like this, I know there is nothing I can do, but let you know that I am thinking about you and your family and how bad I feel for you. Cancer is a horrible thing and your family and Owen didnt deserve it, no one does. I wish there was somthing I could do, but I know there isnt. But I really do think about you and care about you. If you ever just want to get together I would love it. Let me know. I will cry with you, I am good at that!!
Love you and always thinking of you,
Danielle Winney

Anonymous said...

Oh jen... I will say what I know you want to hear....I'm sorry. I am so sorry that this horrible disease claimed your baby...it just isn't right. my girls and I made a contribution to Owens toy box and we talked about him quite a bit and discussed how brave he was and how he is SUCH a special person. God bless you this holiday season, and I hope peace finds your heart, if even for a few moments.