Saturday, November 8, 2008

One month ago, Owen passed away. Things I have realized since then---1.) Him being gone doesn't get any easier without him, in fact, I think that time has made it more difficult.  Reality has set in.  2.) There is a difference in knowing something, and in believing it.  I knew he was gone a month ago...now I am starting to believe it.  3.) Love doesn't die when a person does. Last night when I was feeling particularly sad about something unrelated to him, the Build a Bear that he made me went off, and Owen's recorded voice said "I love you".  It happened again today.  Normally, the only way it goes off is if I specifically press it-I sleep with it nightly, and no matter how much I move, it hasn't gone off accidentally.  He was sending me a hug for sure...
   The first day I went back to work, I kept picturing how excited he would be when I would return home from somewhere, and how happy it made me to see him. I had to face the day knowing that his smiling face, giggle, hugs, kisses, and sweet voice would not be there when I returned. Sometimes, on bad days, that was enough to help me get through.  He was the one and only person who totally and completely loved me without expecting anything in return.  I have pictures of him looking at me, and I can see that love on his face, in his eyes...I hope he knows it was recriprocated.
  Missing Owen...
 

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Always thinking of you and the sadness you must feel. He is there showing you every time that Build a Bear talks. I pray for all of you every day.
Sue

danielle winney said...

I cant even imagine what you are going through, but you know he is and always will be watching over you and knowing how much you love and miss him.
I cant believe its been a month, I always think about you guys. And you know I truly believe that the build a bear is really him letting you know he loves you.

Love,
Danielle and Shannon Winney

Anonymous said...

It's like we talked about a few weeks ago. Now that you are believing and accepting, he will come visit you..whether in your dreams or thru Build a Bear...he will come to let you know that he is ok...that you will be ok. Thinking of you. Call me anytime!

Christina