I have been lucky to have my dreams filled with Owen as of late! Last night, I dreamt that I was taking him to the zoo. The best part of the dreams, however, is that I have the knowledge that he is gone, so I absolutely take full advantage of the time I am spending with him in my dreams-extra hugs and kisses and "I love you" s. Feeling the weight of his body on mine as he lays across me, as he did each night when he was here with me, the feel of his fuzzy head against my cheek and lips--it's all there in my dreams.

Have you read the book "My Sister's Keeper" by Jodi Picoult? It's one of my favorites.  I read it before Owen's journey with cancer...hits home harder now, obviously. It's about a family with two daughters. One has leukemia. The other was conceived to be a bone marrow donor for her sister.  When that daughter reaches 13, she decides that she no longer wants to be the pin cushion and donor for her sister and sues her parents for the rights to her body, with potentially fatal results for her sister.

  The book has been made into a movie that is being released in June.  I am sure that it will be phenomenol.  Jodi's books have all been books that really force you to ask questions of yourself and question what you believe.  I hope that the movie does the book justice.  If I taught high school English, I would love to have the book included in my curriculumn.   

  Keep Owen's smile in your thoughts--I always do!

   I was reading back through my calendar yesterday, and was amazed by the amount if days that Owen spent in the hospital. It was not rare for him to go into the hospital on a Friday for chemo, expecting to leave on Sunday or Monday, only to have to stay for an additional week or more due to blood counts, or infections, etc, etc...

  I have many things of Owen's saved.  I have some clothes, toys, and books. I am not able to get rid of those. If I ever have more children, I would want to share them with them. Additionally, when I have grandchildren, I would want to do the same-read them his favorite books, show them his toys, etc. 

  I wish he were here to tickle! I listened to one of his favorite CD's in the car yesterday and sang along.  How much fun we all had dancing and singing along with Bear in the Big Blue House!!

  Rain today.  The perfect day to watch movies and read, waiting for the rainbow!

He is Gone
You can shed tears that he is gone,
Or you can smile because he lived,
You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back,
Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left.

Your heart can be empty because you can't see him
Or you can be full of the love that you shared,
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember him and only that he is gone
Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on,
You can cry and close your mind be empty and turn your
back,
Or you can do what he would want: smile, open your eyes,
love and go on.

Toot toot chugga chugga big red car!  We travel near and we travel far. Toot toot chugga chugga big red car, we're gonna ride the whole day long!!

  It's funny how Wiggles songs can pop into my head-they are quite catchy and cheery!  Owen had the opportunity to see The Wiggles twice. I have to admit that I probably enjoyed the shows as much as he did!  Want proof? Here we are with Murray Wiggle--notice who has the bigger smile??  The last show, my favorite dancer, Ben, was there. When he ran through the aisle, right past us, I shouted "I love you, Ben!" Owen laughed and said, "You love that guy!"

  I have the Wiggles as a background on my igoogle screen. Makes me think of the hours and hours of fun we had singing and dancing to the Wiggles!!  Owen is hopefully doing that now, as I am!