Post Christmas

I'm not sure why, but this Christmas was particularly difficult for me. I'm having such a difficult time with knowing that Owen would be almost sixteen years old...He was four when he died. He would be SO different now.
I work at the school with the students would he would have been in class with. I look around and try to imagine and figure out who his friends would be. Who would he have a crush on? Who would be nice to him? Would any of these kids have picked on him?
What would he like now? Who would Owen be today?

Dreams

Last night, I had a dream that Owen was alive in a hospital. I found out where he was, and we were so excited to see each other! I picked him up into a hug and took him to buy socks because his feet were cold.

 He was the same age he was when he died, and I was able to have Josh and Marissa play with him.

The best part was holding him. It's been SO LONG since I have been able to hold him, and kiss his little bald head!

Man, I miss my son...

Reading

I have been reading through my past posts today.

 I look at the decreasing amount of posts I have on here. Yes, I have the Facebook page that I have been updating, but this is a good place to write, as well.

  I'm enjoying my visit with Owen memories this morning. I miss that Frog so much.

We got the phone call 4 years ago today that let us know that Owen had relapsed. With that call, we knew that we were going to lose him.

Cancer Resources

Here is a link to childhood cancer resources:

http://www.hyundaihopeonwheels.org/cancer-resources/resources.aspx

I am sorry for anyone who is currently experiencing the trials of childhood cancer, or who has experienced a loss because of it. It is a terrible club to be a part of, but you will meet some incredible people on your journey that you may have otherwise never met.